summer body ready

As the temperatures rise in many parts of the world, so may the volume of body-conscious messages, thoughts and feelings. Warmer days mean less layers and more pressure to get ‘beach body’ ready. Summer months bring more social gatherings and more opportunities for photos and body checking. This can drive disordered behaviors around food and exercise in an attempt to show up as your most confident self, or can even keep us at home missing out on social connections and support. What if, instead of changing your body this summer, you changed your thoughts and social exposures?

Thinness=Confidence, Or Does It?

The belief that confidence is reserved for only thin bodies doesn’t hold up the way diet culture has us convinced. While it’s easy to think that those who match society’s ideals never experience moments of insecurity, there’s a simple way to debunk that misconception. If it were true, there wouldn’t be so many thin folks who struggle with their body image. Likewise, we would never see people in larger bodies wearing bikinis unapologetically. Giving your brain body-diverse input is a powerful way to rewire the way you perceive confidence. Curating your social interactions and social media threads to see more body diversity is a great place to start remembering that all bodies fit and belong.

But I Felt More Confident When I Was Smaller

People often argue, ‘But I felt more confident when I was smaller’. This is a classic thought error when it comes to body image. Ready for the reframe? They felt they could show more skin and not be subject to criticism. They felt they could go for a second helping and not risk judgment from others. They felt they could look at photos and identify less ‘flaws’. That is not confidence. That is a (false) sense of safety.  The truth is, you don’t need to change your body to be safe, we need to change the culture so that all bodies are safe. ​

This is why it makes total sense that if we’re preoccupied with our body’s appearance we may start to overthink movement and food; we often get caught in cycles of restricting then what feels like overeating or binging, and not trusting our bodies to tell us when or how much to eat. Our brain’s number one priority is to keep us safe from danger. When our self-worth is dependent on other people’s opinions and also directly affected by our appearance, we take action to avoid those pains at all costs.  Understanding that what we’ve mistook for confidence was actually a (false) sense of safety may help us move towards the pursuit of comfort and self-trust that can happen in this body, right now. 

Let’s be clear that while we live in a society that promotes the message, ‘how much you eat is connected to your appearance’, the reality is that body size and food are not directly correlated. 

So What Is Confidence Then?

Comfort is a mindset of having our own back. It’s committing to never speak to ourselves with a self-critical voice, no matter what. It’s intentionally choosing to treat our body with respect regardless of whether it matches society’s impossible standards. It’s dressing in clothes that express our authenticity.

Self Trust and Comfort In Action

If you plan a trip to the beach while thinking, ‘I hate my body’. You may feel compelled to take actions like punishing it with rigorous exercise or starving it, confirming to your brain that your body is worthy of hatred. 

If you want to feel comfortable planning a trip to the beach, consider rewiring your brain to think differently than it has in the past. The process takes time and practice; think of it like climbing a ladder working your way from your current thoughts to your goal thoughts one baby step at a time.

Next time you have a thought such as, ‘I hate my body’ try reminding yourself, ‘It’s possible my brain is lying to me when it tells me to hate my body’ and you’re a step away from body hatred. When that thought feels easy, try, ‘Other people feel confident in their bodies’ and look for evidence of that. Putting the attention on other people will take the pressure off your process. When you’re ready for the next step, try, ‘I have a human body’. Your brain can’t argue that, it’s a neutral fact. Going a step further, try, ‘I’m becoming a person who feels more comfortable in their body’. 

The key is to be patient as you work your way from your current beliefs to your goal thoughts. And remember, progress is not linear. There will be easy days and others more challenging. Celebrate every win along the way, no matter how small. Acknowledging your wins helps keep the momentum going. You’re undoing years, maybe decades of conditioned ways of thinking. It’s not an easy process and you don’t have to do it alone. 

When you’re ready for support on your journey, we’re here for you. Together we’ll redefine confidence, safety, and comfort so you can show up as your authentic self.

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