Be Your Own Valentine: Cultivate Self-Love

Valentine's Day is around the corner, and while it's often associated with romantic love, let's switch gears and celebrate the most important relationship you'll ever have – the one you have with yourself. This year, here’s an invitation to be your own valentine and embark on a journey of body acceptance and genuine self-appreciation, that may just develop into a relationship of love. Here are some simple tips on how to make this Valentine's Day all about embracing your unique body.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Start by challenging those negative thoughts that creep into your mind. Recognize that that voice was learned, not intentionally chosen. Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and the unique qualities that make you who you are. Replace self-criticism with self-affirmation. As you start to unpack these negative thoughts, ask yourself who benefits from your shame? Realizing that these negative thoughts weren't yours in the first place is a great first step towards dismantling harmful beliefs about bodies.

Focus on What Your Body Can Do

Shift the focus from appearance to functionality. Acknowledge and appreciate what your body can do – whether it's simply getting you through a busy day or expressing gratitude for the systems that keep you functioning. Think of your beating heart, your lungs that contract and expand to bring oxygen to the cells, your caring soul, your wise mind…the list goes on. Celebrate your body for its abilities - no matter what those may be - and the experiences it allows you to have.

Surround Yourself With Positive Influences

Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. Curate your online space by following accounts that promote body acceptance and self-respect. There are many accounts that even show a deep loving relationship with their body, and while that may feel far off from where you currently sit, it can be a powerful motivator and reminder that you, too, can have this. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can have a significant impact on your mindset.

Wear What Makes You Feel Good

Clothes should be a form of self-expression, not a source of stress. Wear outfits that make you feel confident and comfortable. Embrace your personal style and let it reflect your unique personality.  Let go of clothes that don’t fit or that you squeeze yourself into; when clothing is tight in the wrong places it keeps our thoughts focused on that area and our mind preoccupied with the body project.  There are clothing extenders and adjusters that can add more room to your clothes (all of our bodies shift in size throughout the month due to hormones and other factors) so that you can focus on something other than your body 24/7.

Redefine Beauty

Society bombards us with unrealistic beauty standards. Remind yourself that beauty comes in diverse forms. Challenge these standards and embrace the beauty in diversity, including your own unique features and qualities. A great way to gift yourself this practice is to sit down with a cup of tea and listen to Sonya Renee Taylor’s We Can Do Hard Things Podcast. In it, she says:

‘Radical self- love to me, I always describe as it’s your inherent sense of enoughness. It is your inherent sense of divinity. It can’t be externally gained. It can’t be externally magnified. I say the same thing that decided that there should be daisies and butterflies and the river Nile and sunrises also decided that there should be a Sonya and that’s divine. And if we can connect to that, if I can connect to the sense that the most stunning sunset I ever saw is made of the same material reality as my own beingness, how is that not miraculous? How is that not phenomenal?’

Be Kind to Yourself

Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend. Understand that perfection is a fantasy, and that it's okay to have imperfections. Ask yourself who it is that defines what perfections even are?  Consider that every inch of you may be absolutely perfect, but somewhere along the way someone else defined it as other. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the journey towards self-acceptance.

Seek Support

It's okay to seek support. Talk to friends, family, or professionals who can provide encouragement and guidance. Sharing your feelings and experiences can be a powerful step toward body acceptance.  When we talk about our experience of being in a body, without the goal of changing or “fixing” that body, we can connect with others and realize that our story may be more common than we thought—and our body may not be the problem after all. 

Be Your Own Valentine

Pamper Yourself

Treat yourself to a day of pampering. Whether it's a long bath, scheduling a massage, or simply taking the time to do your favorite skincare routine – indulge in activities that make you feel good.

Plan an Activity You Love

Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to engage in activities you love. Whether it's reading a book, practicing a hobby, or going for a nature walk, do something that brings you joy.

Cook a Special Meal

Prepare a delicious meal that you love. Whether it's a favorite dish or trying out a new recipe, the act of cooking can be a therapeutic and rewarding way to celebrate yourself.

Write a Love Letter to Yourself

Take a moment to reflect on your journey and achievements. Write a love letter to yourself, expressing gratitude for the person you've become and the challenges you've overcome.

Embracing Self-Appreciation

This Valentine's Day, make it a celebration of you – the incredible, one-of-a-kind individual that you are. Court your body, practice self-love, and redefine the holiday as an opportunity for genuine self-appreciation. Remember, the most important love story you'll ever have is the one you create with yourself. Happy Valentine's Day to you, your own valentine!

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